Turtleshadow's Sorrow
by Silvercut123
Summary: Her Clan will fall apart if she does nothing. But if she does something, there will only be sorrow in her pawsteps. Her heart is torn, but the decision is everything.
1. Allegiances

**LeafClan**

Leader: Grassstar - dark brown tabby tom, green eyes

Deputy: Oakwing - light brown-and-white shecat, blue eyes/Turtleshadow - reddish brown shecat, amber eyes

Healers: Foxnose - light red tom, green eyes; Seedpelt - cream colored shecat, white legs, yellow eyes

Warriors:

Softclaw - black-and-white shecat, yellow eyes

Mudthroat - gray tom, brown chest and neck, amber eyes

Barktail - black tom, brown back, legs and tail tip, green eyes

Fernfur - light gray tabby shecat, green eyes

Skywhisker - gray-and-white tabby shecat, yellow eyes

Fallingbird - cream colored shecat, blue eyes [Apprentice: Rabbitpaw]

Weaselfoot - reddish brown tabby tom, amber eyes

Sunflight - dark cream colored tom, yellow eyes

Buzzardclaw - dark gray-and-black tom, green eyes

Lichenwhisker - black-and-white shecat, blue eyes

Sleetclaw - white tom, brown paws, blue eyes

Rippleheart - light gray tabby shecat, blue eyes

Dusknose - light golden brown shecat, yellow eyes

Dustclaw - light brown-and-cream tom, amber eyes

Apprentices:

Rabbitpaw - cream-and-brown tom, green eyes

Queens:

Fallowheart - brown mottled shecat, amber eyes; mother of Turtleshadow Mate: Weaselfoot [nursery queen]

Splashfeather - dark gray tabby shecat, blue eyes; mother of Willowkit [pale brown tabby shecat, blue eyes], Frozenkit [white shecat, green eyes] and Nightkit [black-and-white tom, green eyes] Mate: Barktail

Silverfur - pale gray mottled shecat, green eyes; expecting kits Mate: Sleetclaw

Elders:

Soilclaw - dark brown tom, yellow eyes

Birdnose - cream-and-white shecat, amber eyes

Dawnpelt - golden brown shecat, amber eyes

Bramblefoot - black tom, blue eyes


	2. Outcome

**Disclaimer** : I do not own Warriors, only the plot and OC cats/clans.

 **Warnings** : Blood, death, etc.

* * *

She crept into the warriors den, sneaking around tails and paws. She saw him. She unsheathed her claws and slunk forward, steeling herself into the blankness that allowed her to do her duty to the clan.

Amber eyes opened and met her own. Turtleshadow froze for a second as he rose from his nest. "So. You were the one to kill them." His voice was calm and tight, yet soft as if he did not wish to wake the other warriors. He probably didn't. "I suspected. Only _you_ were _skilled_ enough to do such things." But now his voice was tinged with bitterness and longing - no. Not longing. Envy.

Her own father was jealous of her. It made sense. Weaselfoot had coveted the position of deputy since she was young. She had come and uprooted and burned his ambitions to ash.

"Come, Weaselfoot. Allow me to finish what must be done."

"You detached yourself from us." He spat icily. "So killing members of the clan is merely work?" She frowned. What was he playing at? Turtleshadow narrowed her eyes as hisses filled the den. A curl of surprise flitted through her chest. _'A clever plan. Only a few of the warriors were asleep. But I cannot allow him to live. He would sway more cats to his side to rebel.'_

It took not even a second to lunge and tackle him, her speed and strength still impressive for a shecat of her smaller size. With it, she avoided a nasty swipe from Dusknose. They rolled through the den, biting and clawing flesh in a vicious raw fight. She twisted from under him and raked her claws over the tendons in the back of his legs, a couple of bite wounds stinging on her shoulder from the roll.

Weaselfoot yelped, his eyes narrowing in both madness and pain as he flipped around and nearly landed on her back. Turtleshadow dodged the snapping jaws of her Clanmates and her father's claws, ramming and striking her Clanmates to send them staggering back, dizzy and panting.

Turtleshadow saw her chance to kill as he landed, the sheer pressure on his legs from the severed tendons driving him to his belly in gasping agony. She spun around Sunflight and pounced in a single motion, driving her claws deep into his throat as he tried to scramble to his paws.

Blood gushed over her paws as he choked and gasped. There was a moment of silence in the den as the warriors stopped trying to hurt her to stare at Weaselfoot. "Get Foxnose!" Softclaw screeched as she glared at Turtleshadow. The reddish brown deputy felt nothing but a thin bit of...sorrow? as she let the vicious paws and slams of her Clanmates bring her down into dizzying darkness.

* * *

She woke with a pounding headache, in a nest that smelled of herbs. _'The healers' den.'_ She noted, blearily blinking. "You're awake." Seedpelt's curt voice stated. "Fallingbird and Softclaw are outside the den. Any attempt to flee and you will be killed. Grassstar wants to talk to you, so stay down." The cream-and-white shecat left.

Turtleshadow took the time to let her headache subside a bit. Her wounds stung and throbbed as much as her head, but they were covered in a light layer of herbs. There was sadness coiling in her chest, and guilt. She was a kinkiller - but doing so saved the clan.

"Turtleshadow." Grassstar murmured, padding into the den.

"You have not told them about the rebellion." She said sharply. He shook his head.

"Think. What will the clan say if they hear of it? They won't trust each other anymore. Should you have kits, they will be hated, ignored, as will any kin of theirs." The brown tabby tom sighed. "You would have unwilling warriors on your paws. They wouldn't trust you either. We wouldn't be trusted by the other clans for moons."

"What would you have me do, then?" Turtleshadow had an inkling now.

"Exile. You can be free, to do what you wish." Then, there was a blaze of anger.

"My entire life is for the clan." She growled lowly. But then, the anger sputtered out. Her life _had been_ for the clan. There was no more mission for her now that the rebels had been killed and the clan made safe. Nowhere for her here.

"They believe you killed Weaselfoot and the others because of pressure and that you hated them and the clan." He replied. "I will not kill you - so it is exile. And they will not accept anything less." She hung her head for a second, sighing as guilt began to eat away at her again. The silence was sharp. Then; "I, again, am sorry this had to happen to you. I am sorry you had to carry this burden."

It did not make the reddish brown shecat feel any better.

"Come. It is best we get this over with." Grassstar stood and watched her, dazed, rise to her paws. _'This is happening. I am being exiled.'_ She nearly stumbled from the nest as she got up, wincing lightly as a wound stretched.

Grassstar walked out first, motioning to Softclaw and Fallingbird who turned to look at her with icy eyes. They pushed her forward with rough shoulders into the clearing, and she saw the entire clan gathered before her, glaring, bitter and cold. She padded forward, through the crowd of cats that split for her. They saw nothing but a murderer. Buzzardclaw spat at her paws.

She looked up at Skystone; Grassstar already sat upon it, his face blank and his eyes tinged with sadness. The clan hissed in breathy whispers, _"Murderer." "Kinkiller." "Why did she -?" "Doesn't matter. Kinkiller and clan hater. She will still die - or be exiled."_ The last part was spit, as if the speaker didn't expect Grassstar to be so kind.

It didn't matter she knew these cats for most of their lives. Once they saw something that they did not understand or were convinced they did understand that they saw as wrong, they rallied against it, no matter the cause or purpose. And suddenly, she felt a swirl of pity for the clan. They were simply living in a tiny bubble, unaware of how easily it could be broken.

"LeafClan, all old enough to speak, gather." The words were not needed. "Turtleshadow, kit of Weaselfoot and Fallowheart. You have been found guilty of the following crimes against the Clan Codes: Kinkilling: Weaselfoot, your father; Fallowheart, your mother. Killing warriors of the Clan: Dustclaw; Fernfur; Barktail and Sleetclaw."

"Under StarClan's watch, with the power given to me by their paws, I, Grassstar of LeafClan, sentence Turtleshadow, murderer and kinkiller to exile from LeafClan until her days end." The clan erupted in yowls and cries of outrage. "Enough!" Grassstar yowled, digging his claws into the stone, his fur bristling sharply at the retaliation of his order. "This is my decision! Be quiet!"

Turtleshadow let the blood thrumming in her ears overcome the rage pulsing from the clan, her former Clanmates. She closed her eyes and let the scents of the clan run over her. This was the last time she'd smell it, the last time she'd see it, last time she'd feel anything from the clan.

She opened her eyes after a second as the roar behind her blood died down. The clan was forced to be quiet. "Leave, Turtleshadow." Grassstar's voice was sharp and somehow as soft as a light breeze during leafbud.

Sorrow cracked at her, but she tossed it aside, turning to the bramble entrance and stopped. Her paws didn't want to move. _'Why? Move. This is what we wanted. The clan is safe. Move.'_ Turtleshadow blinked slowly and felt her paws carry through the opening line as the cats in the clearing got out of the way. She got to the tunnel, she shot forward. Looking back would only harm her.

She ignored every cry inside her that wailed that it was wrong, to go back, to tell the truth. She sped past trees, undergrowth and the sandy training ground where Fallowheart had shown her how to roll as a kit. Finally, Turtleshadow paused, her chest heaving.

Sweat covered her paws and smeared her fur as she panted. In the end, she gave a shaking sigh and stood once her paws stopped trembling. She knew where she could stop.

As the sun rose higher in the sky, Turtleshadow padded along the grass and she saw the crack where she could slip inside the cool stone. She took and breath and padded forward.

She stepped from the rock tunnel after several tail lengths, walking into the tightly knit clearing. She looked around and blinked faintly as growls and snaps sounded from the deep corners.

"Come. Make feast from me." She whispered, her chest bubbling with raging emotions. She unsheathed her claws. She would only need to fight a little.

Dark amber eyes gleamed from the shadows. Behind her, hot, rotted meat breath flooded over her fur and a vicious rumble echoed from a russet chest. The foxes bristled as they stepped forward, then lunged.


End file.
